Madman: On Self

“Why are you trying to push me away?” quickly deflect swoop past carry on the push.  Show you what you fear long dread to see know feel; the truth the real I as it is as it always has been.  For me it is nothing life world for you revelation horror disgust; achievement of T. S. Eliot namesake of trinwords; “I will show you fear in a handful of dust.”  Dust for me, sandstorm for you.  No matter; flip the switch.  “sorry for the delay, I had to calm down so that I wouldn’t say something I’d regret.  now that I’m calm: please don’t ever talk to me again.” – the expected response the wanted the shifted-to the goal reached.  This method works always and it’s the easiest.  Note, reader, that in life easy isn’t always best – but it works damn good here.  That’s the thing with manipulation, though; careful words maneuvered positioned placed to make you think it’s your idea.

If I’ve done this to you and you’re reading this there’s no harm in your knowing that it’s never your idea, and it always works.  It’s not personal, so don’t feel too bad.  If you read this now and it happens in the future,then you’ve got an extra layer of protection in knowing whats happening, if you can spot it.

People claim brilliance, personality++, perception+, great friend, listener, resourceful et cetera; claim what they will, I of me never claim goodness as a person.  If I’ve got a problem with a situation – rare but it happens – then there will be action taken, eventually.  Don’t need your sympathy, concern or care; I can deal with life on my own, though I’d rather not – and only then if I request it.

Cheers.

192 Pages

I look in this book log Moleskine of mine and I can’t help but wonder.  In the two months of having this I have used 24 sides – 17 pages – of its 192 total.  This, of course being written on the 34th side.  How has this tiny collection of thoughts shaped me, changed who I am how I think live exist by writing these trivialities ideas words as opposed to keeping them locked up in the brainpan to be forgotten?  Since the book, there has been a change in outlook on the world, plans for future, thoughts on that which I am and am not familiar – but is this because of the book has it facilitated such growth or has it been independent of my wordkeeping?  I wonder indeed.

Some time ago an… acquaintance said she did not think I’ve found my message or some such yet.  But is there one, or a need of one for that matter?  I’d pose ‘Discuss.’ but I know not only is readership here bloody nominal, those that do read don’t really comment.  Oh well; so it goes.

X

Cheshire Grin Moon

Dark the world a sea of black as above spotted dotted sprinkled the sky alight with but the stars fair and the Cheshire grin moon hanging high.

Meta: I have no idea what happened yesterday.  I went from having an average 2-10 views a day to having 224 yesterday alone, and 72 views today (in the past 5h40m).  I can see the link that most of them came from, but the listing had flagged and so no longer exists.  Anybody happen to know what that was about?  I appreciate the exposure, but jumping so much in one day is rather unusual.

I apologize for the amount of meta discourse; I felt it was necessary yesterday (which was the post being linked to so), and I’m just bloody confused here.

X

N. B.

There’s a piece of rather-long wordsmithing on the right column under the title ‘of Fear and Dust;’ yes, that’s the title of this here site, but it is also the title of the piece.  It’s right above ‘The Madman.’

Cheers,

X

Job.

’s strange.  I’d never had had a formal job interview before yet now in the past two weeks I’ve had two.  Aye, my previous job there was talk with the manager owner franchiser yet that was more of an… interrogation, really.  The Madman might have another job soon, folks.  We must hope so.